Reflex
As October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I am leading off with this.
As part of my birthday celebrations in late 2004 my friends surprised me with a gift certificate for a local day spa. Surprised as much as I am not really a “spa day” kind of person and they had gone to a great deal of thought and considerable cost to think of an idea that would be something I would never treat myself to. I graciously accepted the gift and then put it away thinking I would get around to using it at some point
Early in the new year I remembered the gift when I came across the birthday card and saw it peeking out. The idea of wasting the money did not sit well so I looked at the brochure that accompanied it to see what I might choose to do when I made an appointment. A manicure seemed straightforward as I often treated myself to those but what jumped out at me was a session of reflexology. I can be a little adventurous at times so on a whim decided to take the plunge and discover what that was all about.
The darkness of a winter evening had just set, and candles were glowing in the quietness as I made myself comfortable on the table. The reflexologist introduced herself to me then covered my body in a warm blanket, leaving just the bottoms of my legs and feet exposed. She then proceeded to explain what she would be doing, how each section of a foot connects to a specific part of the body from the sole of the foot to the top of head. As she worked her way around each foot it would relax the entire body and not to be surprised if at any point during the hour I fell asleep. Naturally, I was tense and decided I would not fall asleep with zero awareness that my attitude was defeating the purpose of the reflexology.
As soft music played in the background, Felicia set to work and talked about each area of the body as she gently massaged my right foot. There was a moment where she took a deep breath and said, “the right side of your chest is really quite angry.” Typical of me, I thought “why is my chest angry with me and what have I done to make it so,” not associating the word angry with inflammation or injury. She did ask if I’d had an accident, but nothing came to mind. And again, she stressed how angry that area was to her touch.
And while I did not fall asleep, I was most definitely in a very relaxed and drowsy state and remember little of the rest of the hour, but that angry right chest comment stayed with me long afterward.
A month later I had an annual physical and my doctor did a thorough breast exam as part of the process. As I had had a baseline screening done five years before, she noted in my chart that I was due for another so gave me a requisition to book a mammogram. As with the spa gift certificate, I put it away thinking there was time to do that as the physical exam produced no concerns.
Until the day I saw it on my desk and thought I should make the appointment. Off I went to that appointment in the early morning hours of May 4, 2005, and after I left the hospital, these words started flashing in my head “that’s an angry right chest”. Six hours later I received a phone call from the doctor telling me that the radiologist had seen a number of calcifications that he did not like the look of, he needed to run more tests, and an appointment for the following morning had been made for me. I knew in that moment what that “angry right chest” had been telling me. And while I had not had the confirmation or heard the words “you have breast cancer,” I knew it. I call that day the mammogram that saved my life. I came to learn that I had an aggressive 2cm tumour that could not be felt by physical examination, which was growing quickly and already on the move to the lymph nodes. Had I waited any longer than I did I knew the outcome would have been much different.
The body knows when something is off kilter, and it will tell you in whatever way necessary until you pay attention. I called mine the great slap up the side of my head. The key is to listen, to know your body, and to understand that universe has a way of getting messages to you. Call it intuition or a gut instinct. What you do with that knowledge is key to better health and wellbeing as well as in my case, survival.
The possibility of choosing to act or to remain ignorant and not knowing what the message might be is ours to make. No one else can make it for us. In the case of breast cancer, this disease affects women primarily, but men can also develop breast cancer. Know your body and trust your instincts.