What’s In Your Cup?

I have always been a glass half full person. Even at the darkest, most difficult moments in my life, I’ve looked at the situation from the depths of despair, but I don’t loiter there. It’s foreign territory for me to hang about in sadness or worry. Like most everyone else, I do feel sad at times, and I do my share of worrying but I’m not wired to remain in that state. Eternal optimist? I suppose that applies, more than that I need to believe, and I do believe, that there is “more” and there is “something else” waiting to be discovered beyond an unexpected or unprovoked challenge.

I’ve raised two young men. One has more of my approach to life – that he can do hard things and even when hard things happen to him, and they have, after a pause and consideration, he redirects and begins marching forward. The other is a little more glass half empty in his approach to life, and while he’s faced setbacks and disappointments, he gets to a new place in his world, though not in a straight line. He moves sideways and chooses a rockier path to reach his next destination, as if he needs to view life from a higher vista in order to assess the situation clearly.

This past week this glass half full and the glass half empty were met with two different health challenges. Half full said “oh look the sun came out today.” Half empty said “it was cloudy almost all day.” Half full said “whatever this is I’m dealing with I’ll just get on with it.” Half empty said “I won’t be able to do the things I want to for a few weeks and so what’s left for me to do in the meantime?”

Half full went into mother mode and rhymed off all the things half empty had to look forward to – all the things that he could do while he waits for time to pass. Half full listed all the ways, given her own health at the moment, to put life into perspective and half empty listened, as he always does, and we finished our chat with him saying “yeah, I guess you’re right.”

And that brought me up short, because your perspective on life isn’t about being right or wrong, it’s about how you view the world around you. I thought about all the times I’ve showered rainbows and sunshine when someone is being glass half empty and that while I get annoyed and frustrated when someone is down in their cups and wanting to stay there, that same person must be equally annoyed and frustrated with my sparklers and glitter bombing approach and wish I would just leave them to it.

As much as I wish other people could see the positive and find the bit of hope, the tiny fragment of light when things look their bleakest, it isn’t for me to force that viewpoint. But seriously, what doesn’t look better with a bit of glitter and sparkle? Half empty would tell me that was great, but I was going to be the one to clean that up, not them.

I’m not going to stop seeing the world as filled with possibility. My life has had its flaws, and it is often imperfect, but I continue to appreciate the scars and cracks because they mean I’ve experienced life’s hard moments and I’m still here to be grateful for the gifts those challenges have given me. I’m not going to stop sharing those moments with others because somewhere there just might be a person who sees the world as a half empty glass, and they might realize they can add more to that cup to fill it with joy and wonder and gratitude.

An empty cup, one that has been spilled from giving too much is a different matter. That cup can with time and care be refilled, but no cup should ever be left to drain dry. That is a much harder position to be in and those with sensitive souls often find they are parched and in need of replenishment.

Here is my little nugget of wisdom for today – we have a cup. For that we can be grateful. It’s what we do with the cup that matters in how we navigate our way through life. It isn’t right. It isn’t wrong. Just be sure not to let that cup crack and run dry. If it should, and you find it hard to refill it yourself – allow someone you trust to lead you to the well.

(apologies to those who also read my articles on Substack. At the moment I continue to cross post until these two platforms can be sorted into one, or a different format.)