Visions of Life
“There are few things that say more about a person than her vision of life: whether she sees it as a road, a battlefield, a growing tree, or a rolling sea.”
~ Karin Boye, Swedish writer 1900-1941
This quote of Karin Boye’s was shared by Matthew Dowd on his social media page (matthewjdowd@bsky.social) where he posts memories and quotes every day about and by people who were born or passed away on that date. Matthew is what I refer to as a disciple of inspiration.
Karin Boye, a Swedish novelist, and poet did not have a decades long life, but she may well have experienced the breadth of her life in a short span of time. I’ve noticed that about those in my life who have died before the age of forty. As if they knew they were not here for a long ride, they charged ahead to fill the hours with adventure, experience, and nourishment for their spirits. They blazed a trail taking risks and daring themselves with new adventures, the rally racers in my life who left me in their dust – gone before the clouds had disappeared, leaving loving memories in their wake.
From these words, Karin gives the impression that she viewed life with philosophical reflection. Or it was simply a poetic moment that seemed destined to be expressed in words. I have no idea which of these visions was the one with which she viewed her own life but, as I’ve read and re-read the quote, all four may have been true for Karin at various times in her life.
I’ve experienced life through all four of these views at various stages of life.
As a battlefield experienced throughout my early childhood in a home where I was trapped unarmed in the no-man’s land between two parents constantly at war; and as an adult on the battlefield of cancer treatment where my early years learned warrior instincts carried me through.
As a growing tree when I gave birth to my children and tended to them as the fragile saplings they were, nourishing them to develop and strengthen into the trees they are becoming themselves, planting their roots with hope for future generations. As I’ve aged and learned about life through lessons both easy and profoundly difficult, always stretching towards the light, gaining knowledge and wisdom, I’ve strengthened like an old oak tree.
As a road where during that cancer treatment I walked the path that was laid out in front of me, offering my body to doctors to fix and repair, going where I was told to be and at what time, proffering my arms to needles and cocktails in syringes and glass bottles. But the road had an end, where I was set free by the medical establishment and my view, clouded by having my life turned upside down left me with no idea which way to turn next.
Every choice we make takes us down a road. Some roads might lead us to a dead end, and we can stay there or we make a U-turn to find a fork in the road that will hopefully lead us to our destination. People come and go on that journey we make down the road of life. The road might remain straight, or it might take twists and turns. Most lives consist of twists and turns. The key is to keep moving to see beyond the next bend to what lies ahead. Sometimes we can prepare ourselves for what comes next, other times life forces us into situations that we could never have seen coming or prevented. The important thing is to keep looking forward and not to pine for what we left in the rearview mirror. Life is all about forward momentum.
Life is a rolling sea. There are days of calm when peace surrounds you and the stillness of the water soothes the soul. And just as suddenly a storm can gather in the distance creating waves that can overwhelm, that can sweep you away if you don’t know how to hold your balance. Oh, but the rolling sea can take you to distant shores and new adventures if you’re brave and if you dare to leave the shore to experience what life might hold in store. Planting roots as a giant oak means standing still. Setting sail to expand your horizon is freedom to grow – tasting the salty air, feeling it on your skin. And the realization that if just one of my grandparents had never set sail for Canada on the rolling waves of the Atlantic I wouldn’t be writing this.
How we view life is based on our experiences, the challenges we face and the times of peace and joy that bring calm and serenity.
Wondering about Karin Boye and her death at such an early age, I did a brief search. What I learned confirmed what I suspected given the choices of tumultuous possibilities she penned – “battlefield” and “rolling sea” – angst, movement, anger, turmoil associated with a battlefield and who might she have been fighting – the world – or herself? The difficulties of life as imagined in a rolling sea. The unpredictability of life as seen through the surges and ebbs, riding the waves until hopefully calmer waters can be reached.
Karin Boye died by her own hand. Taking sleeping pills with her, she left the house and chose a final resting place. A farmer out for a walk days later discovered Karin curled up on a boulder near a hill with a view of Alingsas the city in Sweden where she had been living at the time. Karin Boye’s own vision of life was not the one that I embrace - that despite hardships and difficult moments it does go on, but as a pain too difficult to bear.
As for Karin Boye’s words, she was either wise beyond her years or fighting her own demons when she opined that there are few things that say more about a person than “their” vision of life. I expect it was both.